Dear Reader, last week I reminded you that you are bold. Uniquely bold! This blog I’m telling you that you are being set up.
But here’s a start to how to control it.
Every person reading this blog is being set-up for one thing or another. I believe that for my life and for yours. Just as in the brief story I shared about my life in the last blog and also in the trend I saw in multiple conversations that I wasn’t alone in my experience, we can all be set-up. Set-Up’s exist within us and around us. Set-up’s seek to either help us fully our destinies, to make a difference, or to deny us through doubt, disappointment, discouragement and deception.
Possibly set-up for a life that looks unlike what you were destined to live. Or…possibly set-up for relationships, for promotion, for abundance, for health, or even for more than you could ask for.
The people who choose the best set-up are who I call The Bold Onessm, rebelling rightfully against the internal doubt, and the external distractions that could take them off track of the best set-up. And they don’t do it just for themselves, they do it knowing the best life is one lived on purpose with others. The best set-up affirms your identity, empowers you with grace, equips you for purpose, and allows you to overcome hindrances and hurts for the purpose of helping others do the same things.
But not everyone reading this blog will get to experience that set-up. Why? It’s not luck or the lottery. It’s a few factors including intentional choices that can set you up for one thing or another.
It’s easy to say “choose wisely” or to judge ourselves or others with “you chose poorly”. To choose well we need capacity. Capacity allows us to make wise choices. Capacity is found in all the things that fuel us, such as healthy nutrition, physical exercise, healthy relationships, proper sleep, soul/spirit communion, and healthy limits.
Capacity. Capacity leads to making wise choices. Wise choices leads to you controlling the set up.
When we consider the capacity we need for wise choices we notice 2 things are present:
- The need for empowerment and support
- The gift of compassion for self and others
So yes it’s about choices AND capacity. When you want to control the Set-Up, build your capacity.
This blog we look at building your capacity so you can have what you need to make wise choices that allow you to control your set-up.
How to Build Your Capacity-
- Navigate the parallel tracks of pain & healing, of loss & blessing, of death & life, of waiting & receiving.
- Proper navigation is crucial because the natural waves of disappointment, doubt, anxiety, discouragement, and more will come in. These waves must be approached mindfully and be cared for intentionally.
- I think of when my brother taught me about the lights in the waterways in the Gulf. There’s tall lights with two sides that stand on pilons above the waves in the ocean with one color on one side and another color on the opposite side of the light. Maybe you’ve seen these too. If the captain ignores the colors they will be in trouble, but if the captain navigates these pathways properly the boat stays afloat.
- There is a section in the Book of Psalms that aligns perfectly with this point. It’s a section of songs called The Songs of Ascent that a community would sing out-loud as they made an annual trek to worship together. Often times the community would meet along the way and the way was dangerous, filled with marauders, hungry animals, and harsh elements. The beginning of the section of 15 songs start with phrases such as “I’m alone and in a harsh land, where is my safety?”. It ends with phrases such as “we made it together and now we can dream again”. Those songs show proper navigation in community.
- Discover your “why”
- When things hurt along the way, your why keeps you moving forward. Your why is the reason you do what you do, or the purpose you know you were created for, or the passion that gets you up each day. Your Why is within you. Sometimes we have to discover it. Sometimes we have to deploy it with tactical maneuvers of intentional choices.
- Not sure how to discover your why? It’s a lovely exercise that can start in multiple ways. Email me for a few worksheets if this is where you are now.
- Establish and write out your vision
- Like you why, your vision will keep you moving forward. Unlike your why, your vision is a visual reminder you can keep around you. Your vision is what you see in your head or heart or spirit when you think of your purpose being lived out. It can also be specific, measurable, and have a timeline. Unlike SMART goals, your vision doesn’t necessarily need to be grounded in reality or application just yet. That’s where your vision moves into goals. For now, create a visual reminder of your vision.
- Gather Your Team
- Who’s in it with you, has history of not just having your back but of believing the best about you when you didn’t have the courage and who could also challenge you with unhealthy thoughts and behaviors too.
- Share your vision, your why, and together support one another with your intentional choices to build capacity.
- Manage a Daily Rhythm
- A daily rhythm is the physical plan for building capacity that includes the things that help you to be who you were created to be. It also helps you have the capacity to be there for and with others.
- Download the Diary Chart_whole person goals for one tool to help with managing a daily rhythm
The Bold Ones set-up their own set-up by controlling their capacity to choose wisely. For many of us it’s realistic to say we have some control in these areas. For some of us the internal or external hindrances are overwhelming right now. If you are overwhelmed or don’t see where you have the capacity to choose, don’t stay there alone. Reach out to get help and keep reaching until someone who has the capacity to care responds health-fully and help-fully. I might not be the one who can help, but I could be the one who connects you to a resource who can.
I mentioned earlier this isn’t just about you. It’s true. We all want to see our dreams and destiny come to life. We also all know our lives are bigger than ourselves. That’s why you must be bold.
The Bold Onessm know the best set-up is about living out your destiny which is bigger than you. A true, identity-fueled, God-inspired, relationally empowered destiny impacts your life, those around you, and the generations to come after you in your family.
Yes, that’s a big thought.
You were right to wonder if you’re life has meaning and if you could make a difference. You can.
Right now your capacity may be comprised and you may be living out the worlds, or the cultures, or your enemies set-up. Say No More. Together we will establish the Set-Up that leads you to your destiny and we will see others free to be empowered in their destinies too.
Reflection question pause: How’s your capacity?
- Where do you need to start in the items that help build your capacity?
- Download the worksheet, Diary Chart_whole person goals!
- Share this blog with someone else
We were never designed to go through life alone, but life and adulting can make it feel like that! Plus we often get hurt in relationships so we avoid relationship with one another and with God in favor of distractions. Get back to the important things of building healthy relationships with God and one another. Together we can create healthy communities because healing happens and hope grows in relationship with God and one another!
Liz Lawrence, MA, LPC-S is counselor, coach and creative who is passionate about people. She co-directs a counseling center in Austin, Texas and with husband David Lawrence co-leads the non-profit Renue.Me whose mission is to invest in the dreams of leaders in underprivileged communities around the world. Connect with her at www.lizlawrencelpc.com or www.renue.me
Currently IN NETWORK with Blue Cross, Aetna, United, and Humana. Also accepting all other OUT OF NETWORK providers.
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